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I Need Your Love That Brings Tears to My Eyes

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[FANFIC] Cry Me a River;1c
fikaputri

Title: Cry Me a River

Author: fikaputri

Pairing: Yunho/Jaejoong, Jaejoong/FC, Yunho/Ara

Genre: Drama, Angst

Length: Oneshot

Rating: R

Warning: Songfic, sad ending, grammar errors, jumble of times and places

Summary: Your bridges were burned now it’s your turn to cry


You don’t have to say, what you did

I already know, I found out from him

Now there’s just no chance, for you and me, there’ll never be

And don’t it make you sad about it

To: My Lovely Yunho

From: Jaejoongie

Please baby, hear me out. I love you so much. Please call me.

This was the 23rd message Jaejoong sent to him since last night. He threw the phone to the bed. How dare Jaejoong was... after all he did. Yunho had been furious last night. He punched the guy’s face as the injured man quickly bolted out from the room. He also threw the bouquet he had specially arranged to the blonde man’s face whose body still stark naked and hands still tied above his head. Yunho didn’t say anything. He was afraid he would do something to Jaejoong he would regret later if they talked it out immediately. So he just left Jaejoong and went back to his shared apartment with Changmin and locked himself in his own room. Changmin didn’t say anything. Yunho suspected he already knew. However, Changmin was the one who suggested him to give Jaejoong a special surprise after all.

Yunho sighed heavily. He was a lot calmer now. He actually got surprised of him self of how he handled this so well. Yunho might be unconsciously had prepared him self for the worst. He and Jaejoong rarely met, even when they did meet, they had so little of time. He also had sensed something off about Jaejoong lately. First, from his decreased text messages and calls. Second, from his strange behavior when he was with him and third, from Yoochun, Jaewon, and Changmin. Now, he knew it even saw it by his own two eyes and Yunho still didn’t even know what to do.

He and Jaejoong had been together for not a short time. Their road was not always good, but they survived. But Jaejoong had crossed the line this time. He could stand if they were separated, he could stand the disdain coming from his respected father about their relationship, but he couldn’t stand if Jaejoong decided to two timing his love for him and lied to him. Probably Yunho would just let him go (though heavilly) if Jaejoong was honest to him that he wasn’t enough and didn’t love him anymore. Just probably.

Yunho grabbed his car key and stormed out of his room.

“Where are you going, hyung?”

“Ending this.”

--

“Why did you do this?” Yunho put his elbows on his knees. He couldn’t face the man in front of him. he couldn’t without his mind replayed the scene he saw last night. “You know he had a boyfriend.”

The man crossed his legs. His eyes had blackened out from Yunho’s punch last night. “He’s so attractive and I was attracted to him very much. He didn’t refuse my advances... what could I do?” Yunho stared at him and he felt like punch him for the second time. “I admit that the first time, I was the one who approached him but for the second and the next, he was the one who approached me. Even he was the one who suggested the sex,” the man looked down as if he was guilty and continued. “Listen here, Yunho-sshi. Ruin your relationship was not my intention. I just wanted to be happy. Jaejoong did this because he wanted to be happy too. So Jung Yunho-sshi, you shall do whatever your heart tells so then you’ll be happy,” the man sipped his red wine as he eyed Yunho who was scoffing and getting up to leave. “You are a good man. You deserve it.”

Yunho stopped when he heard the guy’s words but he didn’t turn. He continued to walk out and leave.

You told me you loved me

Why did you leave, all alone

Jaejoong had been a mess. He hadn’t bath in two days and the last time he ate was at the dinner he had with his so-called affair. Jaejoong just called Yunho for the nth times but he never picked it up.

He regretted it so much he never felt this miserable in his entire life until now. Droplets of tears wetting his already damp cheeks. Jaejoong was tired of crying but he couldn’t help it. He felt so terrible. His mind couldn’t stop replying the scene when Yunho found him cheating on him.

Oh, how cruel he was. Yunho had been a great boyfriend but he wasted the man and cheated on him. Although Jaejoong was busy and Yunho also was a healthy young man, but never did Yunho glance to other person than him. Jaejoong knew he was wrong and he couldn’t justificate his actions for whatever reason.

His mind wandered. Does Yunho still love me? Will he forgive me?

They were together for five years but their love had been there more than that. Jaejoong didn’t know if he could live without Yunho by his side. Yunho was always been there to love him and cherish him. Jaejoong was spoiled by his love but now when it might be gone, would he survive?

The door was knocked. Jaejoong hastily ran to the door expecting it to be Yunho. When he saw Yoochun, Jaejoong immediately shut the door in front of the younger’s face.

“Go away, Chun.” Jaejoong slided down to the door. He brought his knees to his chest and he hid his face between them.

“Hyung, nothing will change if you still there. Let’s go to their dorm and get you talk with him. How is that?” Yoochun asked softly. He understood that his hyung right now was experiencing some serious problem that made him break down like this.

“I-I... don’t want to. I’m too ashamed to face him,” he sobbed again. Yoochun sighed and he kneeled in front of the door.

“He loves you, hyung. You just have to explain and apologize, he’ll understand,” Yoochun tried to talk Jaejoong but he didn’t hear a sound except from Jaejoong’s crying. “Hyung, how about we go outside and drink some coffee?”

“Just go away, Chun.”

--

Yunho was in some photoshoot when Yoochun called him and told him about Jaejoong’s condition. He was in some ways pleading him to meet him in his apartment because Jaejoong locked himself and didn’t want to meet anyone. Yunho didn’t know if he was ready to meet Jaejoong but two days felt so long. He wanted to settle this problem as soon as possible.

So right now Yunho was driving his car to Jaejoong’s apartment. He had attended an event of a jewel brand earlier so he was still in suits.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

“Leave me alone, Chun.” Jaejoong muttered. He was still on the same spot since morning.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

“I said leave me alone!” he screamed. He didn’t want to meet anyone, why no one understand?

Knock. Knock. Knock.

“JUST FUCKING LEAVE—“ Jaejoong’s eyes widened and left struck when he opened the door and saw the person in front of him.

Now you tell me you need me

When you call me on the phone

Girl I refuse, you must have me confused

With some other guy

“Do you have something to explain, Jaejoong?” Yunho asked. His back were facing Jaejoong while he faced the large window and stared the night view before him. He didn’t know why he felt so suffocated. He had taken off his bow tie and unbuttoned 2 buttons of his shirt but still he felt the same. Maybe it was the feeling of betrayal, anger, sadness, disappointment, and shocked in him rushed into him all at once everytime he saw Jaejoong.

Jaejoong fidgeted on the couch as he glanced between the tall man’s back and the tiled floor. “I-I didn’t know what to say, Yunho-yah... I still love you and I’m sorry,” Jaejoong said the words so quitely. Yunho felt so bad hearing the miserable in his voice so he turned around and walked to the couch in front of Jaejoong.

“Jaejoong...” Yunho started. “I didn’t know why you did this. Did I do something wrong?”

Jaejoong shook his head vigorously. “No no no. You didn’t do something wrong, baby-ah... I just—“

“Then why did you do that? I’ve loved you so much! There’s no one else but you in my life! But you... but you have the heart to do that to me!” Yunho’s voice rose up. Jaejoong scrambled to his side and grabbed his hands and kissed every surface of them.

“Yunho, Yunho, baby... I’m sorry, I’m sorry, so so sorry... forgive me, Yunho baby please,” Yunho shoved Jaejoong away from his hands as if he would get burned. He stood up towering over Jaejoong and pointed to him.

“YOU! You lied to me, Jaejoong! You said you were busy but the truth was you were having an affair behind my back! Do you know how many countless nights I’ve spent waiting for you to reply my texts and call me back? Do you know how hurt and lonely it was?!” Yunho yelled at him. Jaejoong cringed at every truth Yunho said. “I gave you all my love, Jaejoong! I gave you everything I have!”

“But you never gave me your time!” Jaejoong yelled back. He couldn’t help but crying again. “You were so busy, Yunho. We almost didn’t have the time to be together! You and Go Ara also made me frustrated! I felt like I didn’t have a boyfriend!”

“Kim Jaejoong... how dare you say that to me... You know how is my relationship with her! Don’t try to justificate your self, Jaejoong. And you were busy too, but did you see me cheating?! NO! I’d been loyal to you!” Yunho flailed his hands up. Jaejoong ran to Yunho and hugged him from behind.

“Yunho-yah, my love... I’m so sorry, I know I was wrong and stupid... Please forgive me, I promise I won’t do that again...” Jaejoong’s tears are wetting his suits. He rubbed his cheeks on his back as he was pleading him.

“My trust for you has gone since I saw you bedding another man.” Yunho coldly said. He didn’t want to face him as Yunho him self almost teared up. His heart were crushed so badly it hurt like hell. Never did he imagined that their relationship would end because of some dirty affair.

“Yunho-yah, please believe me... I love you, baby... I can’t live without you...” Jaejoong sobbed as he tightened his grip on Yunho’s body.

“You’ve lived without me for the past few months... now you’re saying you can’t live without me, am I suppose to believe that?” Yunho scoffed. He took a step as he wanted to leave but Jaejoong’s grip prevented him.

“Don’t leave, baby, don’t leave me... please! I’m sorry...” Jaejoong shook his head as hugged Yunho thighter but Yunho gripped his wrists and shoved Jaejoong harshly to the ground. Jaejoong teary eyes looked up to the man whom he loved dearly.

“I never leave you, Jaejoong. You left me first and I decided to let you go,” Yunho’s voice was so cold but his eyes stared at Jaejoong with fire. The Yunho turned to walk away.

“STOP!” Yunho’s steps flattered when he heard Jaejoong’s scream behind him. Yunho turned his head to see the now ex-lover of him holding what it seemed like a sharp piece of glass. Yunho stared at Jaejoong’s dilated eyes. “I swear Yunho, if you dare to take a step to leave me, I swear I WILL FUCKING SLIT MY WRIST AND END MY LIFE!” Jaejoong had positioned the sharp glass above his left wrist. His breathing was hard and he was still sobbing from the endless crying he had done. But Yunho just stared at him and he was so hard to read by Jaejoong.

“You won’t do that,” Yunho shook his head and left. Before he reached the door knob, he turned to Jaejoong once again. “You know that I still care about you, Jaejoong. We started from friends after all but you must know that some things are unforgiven. You once had my heart but you decided to threw it away and crushed it in front of my eyes. Now you reap what you sow.” With that, Yunho left and slammed the door shut.

The glass in Jaejoong’s hand clung as it fell to the floor. Jaejoong’s kness hit the ground as he stared lifelessly at the closed door before him. He had lost him, his mind full of this reality.

I’ve lost him. Jaejoong’s whole body fell to the floor and he cried out in agony.

Your bridges were burned, and now it’s your turn to cry

(Months later)

Please pick it up, please pick it up.

“The mumber you are calling can not be reached at the moment...”

Fuck this. His eyes were getting moist as he pushed the green button to try to call him again.

--

“I’m sorry, hyung. It seems they are so busy nowadays. They are preparing a comeback album after all,” Eunhyuk who seated beside his bestfriend, Junsu, apologized.

“It’s okay, Eunhyuk. Thanks,” Jaejoong still thanked Eunhyuk although he knew that the younger boy lied to him. Yunho and Changmin wouldn’t want to meet him again. He had somehow already known this.

--

“So how are you guys’ relationship with the two remaining members? Also yesterday, TVXQ’s leader U-know Yunho stated that you never try to contact them. Is it true?” the interviewer from TV Daily asked.

“Personally, I tried to contact Yunho and Changmin, but they did not pick up. I tried to meet them on my own through an associate, but that didn’t go as planned.” Jaejoong gave a bitter smile.

--

Jaejoong gulped down his 4th bottle of soju. His dried tears still apparent on his cheeks made his face a bit sticky. Jaejoong was sick of this. He needed Yunho so bad. But how could he reach him? They didn’t want to meet or even pick up any of his calls.

Jaejoong grabbed his phone and opened his twitter account.

“I want to reply to this directly, through my own words. They weren’t many, but do you know how hard it was for me to send you those texts? I texted you again right now, please check it.”

The damage is done

So I guess I be leaving

(A year later)

Jaejoong opened the newspaper this morning. What he read made he struck as he felt a familiar constricted feeling on his throat.

At the front page news, there’s a picture of Yunho and Ara were having romantic dinner in a restaurant. The picture was rather blurry because it was took at night but it was certainly them.

The title was written in a big red words as the news it self was going to be huge. ‘’GOT BUSTED; TVXQ’s leader U-know Yunho and actress Go Ara are in a serious relationship!” and then there were little columns below about their history together and them being titled The Most Loved Couple by Korean People 2012.

Jaejoong smashed the paper into a crumble.

--

Jaejoong watched at the television screen as his sweaty hand grip his phone tighter.

“Ahhaha... yes, yes... you two look so cute together!” the host squealed like a fangirl. Yunho and Ara who sat next to each other were blushing.

“Ara was a friend of mine at first. I’ve been hurt before so I was a bit pesimistic in love but she’s always been here by my side in my lowest moment in life. She is the sunshine of my life. I feel thankful for being with her, an amazing woman, Go Ara,” then Yunho looked at her. He linked their hands and mouthed ‘saranghae’. Everyone cooed together at the sweet scene.

“Wow. This is the first—“

Jaejoong turned off the TV. He couldn’t bear to watch them together but then again he was a bit masochist, so no matter how hurt it was for him, he always found himself looking for Yunho’s news and condition if that also meant that his wound felt like opened over and over again.

Cry me, cry me

Cry me a river

Jaejoong dialled a phone number he knew by heart. Maybe this was the thousandth calls he tried to make. The possibility that his call would be ignore was almost a certainty but Jaejoong always hold on to a little bit of hope he had. Because that was the only thing that made him survive this long.

“The number you are calling can not be reached at the moment. Please try again in a few minutes.”

--

Jaejoong sometimes read fanfictions. There were some stories about them like this too. The difference was on those stories, either of them would eventually forgive the other and they would live happily ever after just like a fairy tale. But this was not a fanfiction, this was reality. A sad reality that taught him you would never knew what you have until you lost it. And it struck deep into him.

Yunho-yah, you once said to me that our bond is forever. Don’t you love me anymore?




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Sometimes some things lost can never be reclaimed but if there is luck and fate, you just might.

I wonder is there luck and fate for this YunJae fic.

This very much heartbreaking, but Jae deserved this. but maybe already enough suffering. Please let them go back together.

Forgiving is the part of the affection. This may be the basis of the continuation. Don't you think?
The reality is so cruel anyway. It is allowed to daydream. No?

Yea but he sow what he reap, he didn't stopped you know. Jaejoong is an attention whore, I'm glad yunho moved on, seriously once a cheater is always a cheater

Heartbroken for Yunho and happy for him in the end, but I didn't feel much sympathy for the skanky cheating slut. Boohoo, cry me a river indeed. Whatever. Even if Yunho somehow forgave him and agreed to try again, the fact and the sight of Jaejoong cheating on him is forever imprinted in his heart, mind and soul. And what's to keep Jaejoong from cheating again? They're never not going to be busy as long as they're idols. If his so-called love for Yunho wasn't enough to keep him faithful before it probably never will be.

Thank you, dear author, for this fic. Absolutely fulfilled my request and then some! XD

I hate Jaejoong's character. Whatever your reasons/justifications are, cheating is intolerable in my book. You might be my bias or my friend, but once I know you are a cheater, my respect drops. The best you'll get from me is a civil conversation.

You're so stupid, Jaejoong. Seriously, I'm Jaejoong's bias but he makes me dissappointed in this fanfic. Only time can answer their relationship. I still hope yunjae will comeback together as a couple again in the future. :'(

I'm so glad there are others feeling sympathy for yunho and hope for the better gut him:). In yj fics where jae cheats many usually sympathises with jaejoong and find excuses for what he did. I'm so confuse with their complex. Cheating is cheating and it's intolerable for me too. And seeing it with your own eyes is a pain that is I indescribable. I would never forgive jae for what he did to yunho in this fic.

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