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I Need Your Love That Brings Tears to My Eyes

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[FANFIC] Cry Me a River;1a

Title: Cry Me a River

Author: fikaputri

Pairing: Yunho/Jaejoong, Jaejoong/FC, Yunho/Ara

Genre: Drama, Angst

Length: Oneshot

Rating: R

Warning: Songfic, sad ending, grammar errors, jumble of times and places

Summary: Your bridges were burned now it’s your turn to cry

You were my sun

You were my earth

“So I guess it can’t be helped,” the blonde man muttered while making a random pattern with  his finger on his lover’s chest.

“If it’s your decision,” Yunho tightened his arms around Jaejoong. “I and Changmin will be alright here, Jaejoong-ah. Don’t ever give up,”

The said man lifted up his head to look at his lover. “Yunho-yah, do you trust me?” the pretty man’s face showed a slight frown of hesitate.

“I trust you with my life, Jaejoong-ah,” he smiled. Jaejoong lied back to his previous position in the arms of the leader.

“I love you”

But you didn’t know all the ways I loved you, no

So you took a chance and made other plans

“Beautiful roses, Hyung,” Yoochun nugded Jaejoong body and took a seat beside him.

“Yeah. I hope he’ll stop it. I don’t mind flowers but he’s getting too dangerous. Sooner or later Manager-hyung will get suspicions over this,” Jaejoong was busy styling his hair in front of the mirror. Yoochun looked at him and shook his head at his hyung’s attitude. Junsu flopped beside Jaejoong.

“Yunho-hyung is your lover so it’s normal,” Jaejoong put his mirror on his lap and looked at Junsu.

“I know but it’s also dangerous. I don’t want him sending me roses everyday,” Jaejoong looked annoyed. “And he should send me lilies instead. Roses make me itch,” Jaejoong got up and left.


Yunho gulped down a big gulp of water. He and Changmin were practising their dancing as a duo also SMTown was getting near so they practiced harder. His mind wandered to his lover who hadn’t replied any of his messages today. Junsu said they didn’t have schedule so why had Jaejoong not reply? Yunho fished out his buzzing phone in his bag and he smiled when the man he was waiting for replied him.

To: My Lovely Yunho

From: Jaejoongie

Yunho-yah, I’m sorry for replying to you just now. I was stuck with my friends earlier >.< I wanted to reply but they didn’t let me getting distracted. I miss you too.

To: Hunny Bunny Sweetheart

From: Yunho

That’s okay =) I understand, baby. Sleep earlier, don’t forget to eat on time and don’t smoke too much, baby. Your voice was strained in your last performance. I love you.

Yunho slipped his phone in his pocket in case Jaejoong replied so he could immediately saw it. Jaejoong didn’t like it if Yunho didn’t reply him immediately if he texted him.

“Hyung, is Jaejoong-hyung busy? I rarely see him anymore. He usually came once a week. I miss his cookings,” Changmin casually asked while he was fishing out his own phone and texting Victoria.

“Of course he was busy, Changmin,” he gulped down water again.

“But he promised me to cook for me once a week,” Changmin frowned. “And he promised you to come always.”

Yunho chuckled and got up. “I’ll say to him that you miss his cookings. Your hyung will be thrilled,” Yunho ruffled the youngest hair and continued practicing.


“Hey, do you wanna go out together again?”

Jaejoong sucked the cigarette on his mouth and blew the smoke through the night air. “I can’t. I already have promise with someone,”

“Is that person your leader from your previous group?”

Jaejoong suddenly getting annoyed to hear the word ‘previous group’. “Yes. How’d you know?” he crushed his unfinished cigarette, stomped it on the ground under his feet, for just fishing another one again from his pocket.

“Who doesn’t know?” the man beside Jaejoong smirked.

“I haven’t meet him in weeks. He texts me everyday and it makes me feel guilty because I was so busy these days. I wasn’t supposed to neglect him,” said the blonde while he watching the smoke faded into the air.

“So what will you do about it?” the man beside him looked at him intently.

“I’ll meet him tomorrow, I guess. I need some fun tonight,” Jaejoong got up to his feet and brushed his jeans from any dirt and walked to his car. The other man ran up beside him and smiled at Jaejoong.

“Of course, Jaejoong. I know the place where you can relieved some stress,” he smirked. Jaejoong expression was as stiff as wood. In his heart he knew that he must go to Yunho tonight because Changmin told him that Yunho already cancelled some of his plan tonight just for him but Jaejoong needed something... some fun. He wanted to drown in glasses of soju and danced in clubs without care. He was sick and stressed with everything... with the upcoming album, the lawsuit and all.. It made him sick. Jaejoong looked down and shivered a bit (he only weared a stripped wifebeater). He promised to himself he would make everything up to Yunho tomorrow.

He looked at the man beside him who put his leather jacket over him. “I don’t—“

“It’s okay,” he refused with a smile. “I noticed you shivered earlier so I gave you this. I’m alright.”

“Thanks.” Jaejoong continued his walk but couldn’t help but smile at the man’s kindness.


“Yunho, please baby, can we meet?” Jaejoong stroke Jiji which was sleeping on his lap. He called Yunho because it’s already two weeks they didn’t meet and Jaejoong was horny as hell.

“I’m sorry baby, really really sorry... I’ve cancelled this meeting two times I don’t want this to be the third. You know how demanding SM can be... so I can’t. I’m really sorry though,” Yunho’s voice on the other line was pleading Jaejoong to not getting angry.

“Fine. I understand you’re busy. But I still can’t understand why do you always choose SM over me, Yunho. Have a nice day.” Jaejoong hit the red button on his phone and with that stopped the connection. He slumped further on the couch and sighed. He actually knew Yunho was not at the wrong. He knew that this meeting was the one he cancelled twice. First, because Jaejoong told himself he would come but he was not (he was getting wasted with his so-called new friend), second when Jaejoong did actually came and then they fucked all day long. But it’s already two weeks, dammit. And Jaejoong was a healthy young man, how was he supposed to pent up his sexual frustration?

He grabbed his phone and he quickly dialled someone’s phone number who was always ready for accompanying him (Junsu was doing his Mozart musical and Yoochun was doing a drama in Japan).

“Hello, are you busy?... well, Yunho is busy so I’m lonely here... in my apartment... yes, sure... I’ll wait for you and oh, please bring some wine...”


Jaejoong opened his eyes. When he was about to wake up, a pair of strong arms prevented him. He glanced at the man beside him and when he opened the blanket around him and saw his state, he cursed. Memories of last night flashed before his eyes... he and the man were getting wasted, they drunk and sucked each others’ faces off, went to bed and Jaejoong remembered himself he was getting so wild, wild than ever he never remembered doing this with Yunho as he beg the man on top of him to go faster and harder...


He cringed when he felt so much pain on his lower body part. But he must admitted, he’d never felt this good with sex in months or years even. He and Yunho only did rough sex two or three times in their five years relationship. Yunho was always so gentle with him to make sure Jaejoong feel least pain after sex. But Jaejoong didn’t need that now, he needed rough, mind-blowing sex that fucked his brain out and numbed his senses.

Jaejoong carefully untangled the arms that cirlced his body so the man wouldn’t wake up. He walked stark naked to the bathroom and stopped when the phone on his drawer suddenly buzzed.

To: Hunny Bunny Sweetheart

From: Yunho

Baby I’m sorry for yesterday, I promise I’ll make it up to you. Our schedule starts this evening, so how about lunch in our favorite restaurant together?

p.s: I miss you so much please don’t be angry with me. Love u.

Jaejoong’s guiltiness creeped up his body he even felt his heart weighed a ton. He did a sin and Yunho didn’t deserved this even when Yunho himself was the kindest and most forgiving man he’d ever known. But he couldn’t help it. He felt guilty but satisfied nonetheless. Then heavily, he walked to the shower and started cleaning himslef from the dirty evidences. When he looked at his reflection on the mirror, he must thanked the sleeping man outside for not leaving any marks.

But I bet you didn’t think that they would come crashing down, no

“Hyung, I heard from Yoochun that you are close with someone right now,” Junsu plopped down beside Jaejoong while playing with his video game and waiting Yoochun to come.

“Who are you talking about?” Jaejoong asked. His fingers busy replying texts.

Junsu looked at him the blonde man beside him for a while then gave a ‘tsk’ sound. “I know certainly that you know who is it that we are talking about,” Junsu turned back to his game and continued with a cold voice. “Yoochun said to me that he saw him naked on your bed this afternoon while you were away with Yunho having lunch.”


Junsu finally paused his game and fully concetrated on their converstaion. “What is this, hyung? Are you cheating on him?” he narrowed his eyes. At first Junsu didn’t trust Yoochun when he said that, but Yoochun said to him with that honesty... suddenly it’s not that unbelievable anymore.

“Junsu, listen to me. I am not cheating on him. That was just spur of moment. I was... horny and Yunho was busy. I didn’t have the thought of sleeping with him at first! But then we were drunk and I couldn’t help it! I have needs, Junsu. You must understand.”  Jaejoong raked his fingers through his golden layers of hair. He felt guilty enough with how loving and trusting Yunho was just now when they were having lunch. He couldn’t believe that his lover actually believe him when he said he was spending the time alone with Jiji and getting wake up late. “Junsu, please don’t say this to anyone... not to Yunho... even Changmin... don’t. I beg you.” Jaejoong clasped Junsu’s hand in him pleading him not to say anything. Junsu sighed and looked at him.

“Hyung, I won’t say anything... but you have to make it up with Yunho after this if you still want to be together. But if you feel happy with your ‘new’ man, please tell Yunho about this. If you don’t love him anymore, at least he deserves your honesty,” Junsu patted his hyung’s hand on top of him and got up to strode to Yoochun who just came.

Jaejoong looked away hiding the tears that threatened to fall. He ashamed of himself. Yes, he still loved Yunho. His heart belonged to the tall man the first time he saw him. But this was not enough.


“What the fuck is this Yunho?!” Jaejoong threw the tabloid harshly on the coffee table. He was beyond furious. The tabloid’s cover was Yunho and Go Ara picture that was captured on shooting break of Heading to the Ground. There was also 4 exclusive pages gossipping about Yunho-Ara new formed relationship.

Yunho tried his best to calm his fumming lover. “Baby, this is just some cheap gossip. You know how I and Ara are really like... we’ve known each other since like when... over 6 years ago? You know her too!” he reasoned. He wanted to touch and hug Jaejoong really bad but the latter seemed avoiding any of his touching.

“Then why did you never tell me that you often go out with her?! No wonder you’re busy!” he spat.

“She is my co-worker! I’ve spent most of my time with her! She’s a good friend, she’s always there for me to help me or when I’m alone,” suddenly Jaejoong turned to Yunho and his eyes were angry.

“Oh! So you say that she’s always there and I wasn’t?! That I was so busy and I neglected you so then you turned to her?!” Jaejoong practically yelled at Yunho who slumped on the couch and rubbed his face tiredly.

“You know that’s not what I mean...”

“Then explain it to me!” Jaejoong fell beside Yunho. He rubbed his moist eyes. Shit. I’m crying. “It’s painful enough that we are separated... and now everybody love it to pair you both, how am I suppose to handle this?” he covered his face as he cried. Yunho glanced at the blonde man and felt guilty rush over him. He wrapped his arms around the trembling body of Jaejoong.

“Sshh... baby, don’t cry. I’m sorry, I’m sorry...” he kissed the top of Jaejoong’s head and nuzzled on his neck.

“Yunho, can you do something about this? I don’t want to see you with her anymore,” Jaejoong looked up to him. His eyes and nose were red. Yunho still could see his wet eyelashes and cheeks. This view made his heart bled knowing that he was causing this.

“I don’t know but I’ll try my best, baby. She is a nice friend I don’t want to hurt her,” he said softly and stroke Jaejoong’s hair. The latter nodded weakly.

“Yunho-yah, does she like you?”

Yunho sighed and kissed Jaejoong’s forehead as he settled his head on his chest. “I don’t know, Jaejoong. I don’t know.”

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Non-AU fic and for the first time in a long time, Jaejoong is the cheating jerk. And he has the gall to get angry at Yunho over rumours when he himself is unfaithful. I haven't read the other parts but I am so glad that it seems this story will not end with happy Yunjae. Yunho deserves way better.

I am so disappointed with Jaejoong. You cannot just reason out that you have needs. Yes you have needs, but you also have choices.

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