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One in millions stars

I Need Your Love That Brings Tears to My Eyes

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Title: Insa
Pairing: yunjae
Genre: PG13, mild smut


end of flashback


The machine still sounds beep... beep... as you still lying unconsiously on the bed. It has been a week since you are in coma, since you wore that hospital outfit that so oversized on you. And it has been a week since I stopped visits our restaurant, Jaejoongie. I don’t even bother to visit it or watch over it like I used to do. It was because I didn’t want to leave you alone here, and because you won’t too, right, Jaejoongie?



Slowly, Jaejoong and I became good friends. He allowed me to call him Jaejoongie, a nick name that I made for him when we went to the amusement park. And I allowed him to call me Yunnie. Not a single person ever called me like that. But apparently, i was more than happy. To hear him calling me like that made me so happy. Jaejoongie always had this shy smile of him when he’s with me. Sometimes I felt that the smiles he gave me and the smiles he gave for other people were different although I didn’t know what it was. And there’s something I always found in his eyes every time he landed his gazes on me. It was hard for me to picturing it. The way they sparked and softened for me. There’s something in the way he looked at me. That he never did with any other people. And I was glad. That i have something from him that other people couldn’t have.


It has been three months since we’ve met. Jaejoongie started to open about him self to me. He told me that he was an orphan. His parents died not long before he transferred to this school. And now he lived with his cousin, Junsu and their parents. He said he really didn’t want to be a burden for Junsu’s family so he worked part time in a flower shop as a florist.When he finished his story, I told him that I’m proud of him, to be so strong and independent. Jaejoongie smiled shyly hearing my compliment and I ruffled his hair and he pouted. He pouted every time I ruffled his hair. But he didn’t know why I did that. He didn’t know how much I love his pout.


“You’re so cute, Jaejoongie,” I said. My fingers played with his hair. Yeah, our friendship was so sweet.


The shy thumping in my heart changed into a crazy heart beat when I was with Jaejoongie. And everytime he spent his time with other people, not me I thought I was –uhm, what’s the name of it?- jealous? Gosh, I couldn’t even think straight.


There’s one day. It was Yoochun’s birthday. He invited our friends and classmates to his house. Thank God, his house was a big enough for us. After ten minutes since the party started, he came with Junsu. He wore a white v-neck shirt with skinny jeans and boots. And he added a salmon cardigan against his shirt. I swore I was drooling. He was so hot and not to mention, pretty. Haha... my Jaejoongie couldn’t be far from the word pretty. Wait, MY Jaejoongie?! Aish, what happen to me?


Junsu gave his present to Yoochun and Jaejoongie gave his too. I could see a glint of happiness and something I didn’t know when I looked at Yoochun’s eyes when he saw Junsu. Something that I saw in Jaejoongie’s eyes. Junsu and Yoochun soon again drawn to their own world again, bickering and fighting nonstop. But I knew they’re not serious. How could it be when they were the most happy  every time they met? They didn’t tell it to me though, but I just know. Jaejoongie glanced at me. It was like he wanted to talk to me so I approached him. But some girls blocked me from my way to him.  They’re squealing about, ‘Oppa, you’re so hot!’ ‘Oppa, I’ve got something for you,’ or ‘Oppa, look at me. Aaahh.. I can’t take this! You’re so gorgeous!’ or whatever. They’re screaming my name and cupping their blushing cheeks with their palms and following me everywhere. What were they thinking? Fansmeeting? Yacks, they’re so disguisting but I wouldn’t say it out loud of course. Did I ever mention that I always acted nice? Finally, I could release from that hell but I saw my Jaejoongie no longer there. I turned my head every where. Where’d he go? I’m searching the hall and found Jaejoongie were chatting happily with a guy. I could see how he laughed softly every time the guy threw a joke. I felt my blood boiling. How dare he chat that happy with my Jaejoongie?! Who was that guy?! Was the name Siwon or something? I walked through the people and grabbed his hand. Jaejoongie looked at me and widened his eyes. Surprised, Jaejoongie?


I dragged him away from that Siwon guy to the empty hallway. When I did this, I could hear him whimpered about. ‘Yunnie, what’s wrong?’ ‘Yunnie, let go. I’m hurt,’ but I didn’t listen to him. finally, he said with a bit shouting, “Yunnie, tell me what’s wrong?!” I stopped and released his hands.


“Yunnie-ah...” my back was facing him and I ciould feel that he slowly approaching me from behind. Carefully, he sneaked his arms around my waist and was about to rest his head on my back when I quickly spun around and pinned him against the wall. I stared at his beautiful dark orbs. And that was the moment I realized that my feeling to him was more than just friend.


“I don’t want to see you with that guy again,” I firmly said. My face was just about an inch from him. i could feel his hot breath against mine. Oh God, how I wanted to kiss him now.


“Why?” he whispered. He seemed feeling the same like because he closed his eyes for a moment before opened it again and stared back at me. I just realized he has thick pretty eyelashes.


“Because I hate it,” I answered.


“Why?” he asked again with that husky voice of him. Did he want to seduce me?


“Because...” oh Jaejoongie, why’d you force me to say it? “Because I love you, Jaejoongie. I love you more than a friend should do,” I stared at his eyes, hoping he would say something but no, he just stared back at me and kept silent. Good Yunho, maybe he was disgust with you now. I pulled away. I gripped my hair and groaned in frustrated.


“Jaejoongie, just pretend that I never said anything to you, okay?” I said to him and walked away. But he ran after me and embraced me from behind. He put his arms around my waist and rest his head on my back.


“How can I?” he said softly from behind. “How can I pretend like that when those words are what I’m waiting for you for a long time, Yunnie,” I turned my body so could face him. I saw his eyes were sparkling with something I didn’t know. But now I know. It’s love, right, Jaejoongie?


“I love you too, Yunnie,” and the way he said it was so beautiful.


“Jaejoongie...” and soon I pulled him into my embrace. My heart was beatig so fast and i felt this butterfly feeling in my stomach. I felt so happy. I couldn’t say it in words. I hugged tightly his small figure not wanting to let go.


“I thought that you didn’t love me the way I love you,”


“How could you? I love you, Yunnie. Even from the first time I saw you, I love you,” he shyly confessed to me. I pulled away my body so I could see his face. His cheeks were blushed in pink. I cupped his cheeks and I could feel the heat.


“So this is love at first sight, huh?” I smiled sweetly at him. I lifted his chin with my thumb and pointed finger and I leaned down to capture his plump lips. This was our first kiss and I felt like I’m flying to heaven.


end of flashback


Suddenlly my cellphone rings in my pocket. I grab it and pick it up.




“Yunho, this is me, Yoochun,” oh so this is Yoochun. “How is Jaejoong condition?” he carefully asked me. I know he don’t want to hurt me more.


“Worse, Chun. The doctor said that there’s no way for Jaejoongie to recover Chun. There’s no hope for him,” my voice sounds so brief and it makes me surprise. Because I must to be strong. For my sake and Jaejoongie. But Yoochun always know.  “But I know he will. He won’t leave me alone, will he?”


“Yeah, right Yunho. You have to be strong for him.” he encouraged me. “Uhmm...”


“What’s wrong, Chun?” I asked.


“Yunho, I have a news for you. But I don’t know how to say it. I don’t know when is a good time for—“

But I cut his word. Sometimes he’s too much talking. “Just say it Chun,”


Me and Junsu will be getting married soon,” Yoochun sounds so carefully saying it to me but I know he must be so happy.


“Really? That’s really good. It’s a happy news, Chun. Why’d you hide it from me?”


“We don’t want to sounds so happy while you and Jaejoong... yeah, you know,”


“It’s okay Chun. I’m sure if Jaejoongie hear this he will be very happy too. Just because our condition is not happy, that doesn’t mean that you and Junsu don’t have the right to be happy,” and that’s true. I know they cancelled they marriage once because of Jaejoong’s sickness. I will be the number one selfish person if I make them cancel it for the second time.


“I’m happy to hear that, Yunho. I know you’ll understand us. Although that dolphin don’t believe me,” I chuckled. They will soon getting married and Yoochun stil loves to call him dolphin.


“Congrats, dude. I’m happy for you. Remember, don’t cheat on him, Chun. Haha... I’ll tell Jaejoongie about this. He will be very happy,”


“Thanks, Yunho. Please tell Jaejoong we miss him. Please recover soon,” after said that, Yoochun hang up. I shove my phone back to my pocket.


“Jaejoongie, Yoochun just called me. He said he and Junsu will be getting married soon,” I pushed his bangs to the side. “Isn’t that good? We always want them to be end up together, don’t we?” I smiled at him. i stared at him. There’s a tiny hope in my heart that he’ll talk back to me. But I know it’s only a hope.


“And they said they miss you and they want you to recover soon. Jaejoongie, please, don’t you want to see Junsu walking on the aisle?” I sneaked my fingers to hold his hand. I always thank to God that until now, every time I hold him, it still feels warm. So feel like Jaejoongie. I thank God although he don’t wake up, at least his hands still warm. Like usual.




It has been four months since we became lovers. The first day they knew it, the whole school was surprised. They didn’t know that I was gay. No, I wasn’t gay. I was just Jae-sexual. At first, people couldn’t accept it,mostly the girls. They didn’t want to see the fact that I had a lover. But some of the guys were happy because they knew that their girl didn’t have the hope to be with me again. Yes, because who the heck would choose them if I have the most beautiful person and the kindest in my arms now?


Jaejoongie was always so sweet. He always made a lunch for us. And he was a great cook. He would be a good wife for me. But my brother, Changmin always upset if Jaejoong made a lunch for us because he’d made it just for me. Not for Changmin, Yoochun, even Junsu. Yeah, sometimes he’d cook for Changmin too but not always.  And sometimes after school, he’d like to visit my mansion to accompany me. Because I’m always alone in my home. My parents never home, they always got works to do and they mostly in foreign country. And the maids were getting home in the evening so I practically alone. So I often asked Jaejoong to accompany me. He’d cook dinner for me, or watch movies in my home theather. And after that, I ususally sent him home. The life was so beautiful for me with him.


I remember one day, in our math class, I saw he didn’t pay any attention to the teacher. Instead, he looked busy writing something on his book. He often glanced at me and made me lost my concentration. And then he giggled to see how hard I try to ignore him. So when the bell rang, I came to him. He looked surprised and quickly hide his book behind his back.


“Jaejoongie, you know what? You made me lost my concentration, baby,” I said to him and he giggled happily.


“It’s your fault, Yunnie. Why you have to be so handsome? I can’t take my eyes over you...” he gave me his puppy eyes. Jaejoongie... you knew exactly how to win me.


“Okay... but don’t do that again, okay? You don’t want my grade to decrease, right?” I smiled softly. He nodded cutely.


“Okay, I won’t do that again, Yunnie,”


“What is it behind your back?” I asked as I tried to peeked behind his back. He quickly stepped back and shook his head harshly.


“No, no... it’s n-nothing...”


“Let me see it, may I?”


“No, no, no...” but as sporty as I was, I quickly ran to his back and grabbed the book he hide.




“Ah Yunnie~ don’t see it!” Jaejoongie tried to tiptoe and jump to grab the book that was held high by my long arm.


“Let’s see...” I opened the book when he stopped his effort.


“Yunnie~” he pouted. But I ignored him because I wondered what was Jaejoongie hide from me. As I opened the last page, I saw many of his writings. And they’re all about me.


‘My Yunnie is so handsome’


‘Jung Yunho <3 Kim Jaejoong’


‘Y U N H O’






‘Yunho= Jaejoongie’s Yunnie’


‘Jung Jaejoong’


‘Yunnie and Jaejoongie’


‘Jaejoongie and Yunnie’


and so on. I found my self chuckled to see this. When I looked at him, I saw he covered his blushing cheeks shyly. I put the book and pulled his hands from his face gently.


“Don’t cover your self, Jaejoongie. You’re so pretty when you’re shy, you know that?” I said to him and he slowly put his hands down. “But I still don’t understand what is Yunjae mean?” I pointed at the word who seemed filled the whole paper. Even a lot more than he wrote my name.


“Yunjae means us, Yunnie. Yunho and Jaejoong. Yunjae. Isn’t that good?” he asked me. I nodded.


“Yes, it’s good. Let’s go the cafetaria. Yoochun and Junsu are waiting for us,” I held his hand and he noodded and obidiently followed me. And since that, Jaejoongie seemed loves to write or crave the name any where. He craved it on the trees when we’re at the park. He wrote it on the white sand when we’re at the beach. Jaejoong just loved me very much and he knew that I loved him as much as he loved me.


And I loved how he jealous. There’s one day when Bae Seulgi, our friend from other class gave me a gift when me and my soccer team won a match. I could see how Jaejoong glared her with devilish eyes. And he never let go his glare even at once until Seulgi decided to go. Actually Seulgi was a nice girl and I knew she had been a big fan of me since long time ago. But Jaejoong was practically jealous at anyone who tried to be near me. And Bae Seulgi was pretty enough for a girl. She has a nice orbs but not as beautiful as Jaejoongie’s of course.


“Yunnie, don’t see her again. I don’t like her,” Jaejoong pouted when we walked to my car. I was about to send him home.


“Why? Is that because you’re jealous with her?” I teased him. He turned at me and blushed.


“No, of course not. Why should I?” he mumbled. We arrived at my car. I opened the door for him and we entered.


“Yunnie, what if someday I’m not as pretty as I am now? Will you still love me?” he asked. He didn’t looked at me so I leaned to him and cupped his face with my palms.


“Listen, Jaejoongie. No, no, look at me, look at me Jaejoongie. Listen, no matter what I’ll always love you. I don’t care if you’re not pretty, all I care is your heart. You have a very beautiful heart, Jaejoongie. That’s why I love you,” yes, and I thought his heart was even more beautiful than his face. I leaned closer to him and kissed him. After couple of minutes of kissing, we separated and panting for air. His face was flushed red and his lips were swollen.


“Don’t forget it, okay?” I smiled and pecked his lips then buckled his seatbelt before I started the engine and drove to his home.


end of flashback


The door was opened. A doctor and a nurse come to check his condition. It’s been a week and no progress. Jaejoongie still in coma. They check his pulse, his temperature and many more. Finally, after they finished, the doctor facing me and he seems like he wants to tell me something. And I’m right.


“Mr. Jung, I’ve already told you. All the things we’ve done are useless, Sir. He have no hope at all. He can’t even breath without all those machines. I’m sorry, Mr. Jung. But if you bring him earlier, he wouldn’t be like this. It’s late. We can’t do anything,” the doctor looked down and walked out. I feel a pang inside my heart. I know the doctor would tell me this, but why I’m still hurt. Maybe because I still have the hope for you to survive, Jajoongie. I know you will. Those doctors don’t know you, only me know who you are. And I know you will survive. You’re always strong, Jaejoongie. Please survive for a little more time.


I hold Jaejoongie’s hand with me and I close my eyes and pray to God. God, please, you know how much I love him. And it’ll be so injustice if you want to take him now. He makes everyone around him happy. Jaejoongie is a good person, very good person. He’s so kind and warmhearted. Why you want to take such person from this world? From me? My tears are wetting the wet sheets. I wiped the tears from my face because I know Jaejoongie will hate this if he know. So instead, I bury my face to the sheets and cry harder.

Yunnie, don’t cry...




I realized that something wrong with him when I saw him coughing so often. So I decided to ask him.


“Jaejoongie, what’s wrong? Are you sick?” I touched his forehead with my palms. But I didn’t feel any indicate of fever or flu or such. “Are you alright?”


“Yes, I’m alright. I often like this so don’t worry,” he said reassured me with sweet smile plastered on his face.


Months passed so fast. I have a very beautiful life since I have Jaejoongie in my arms and everyday I never stopped thanking God for sending me such a beautiful angel. Jaejoongie was a best gift in my life. I didn’t realize it when finally it’s time for us to graduate. I had a great plan to bring him to my parents. They would back to Korea next week and I couldn’t wait it any longer.


“What? No, Yunnie. They must don’t like me,” Jaejoong shook his head.


“Who said that? Everyone loves you, Jaejoongie. So my parents must be,” I gave him reassure.


“But I’m a guy, Yunnie. What will they think if they know that their son is falling in love with a guy?” Jaejoongie looked at me before he hung down his head. “What if they angry with me? and then—and then—“


“I will not let that things happen. I’ll protect you,” I hugged him and he snuggled into my embrace. I stroked his hair lovingly.


“Yunnie, I can hear your heart beats,” Jaejoongie said as he rest his head on my chest. He placed his ears properly so he could hear it clearer.


“That’s for you,” I kiss his head.


But nothing goes like I’ve expected. My parents were totally mad at me. My mom cried and my dad looked like he was going to hit me. Jaejoongie was sitting next to me. He hold my hand so tightly like his dear life was depend on it. I gave him a quick glance before I started to talk again.


“Dad, Mom. From a long time ago until now, I’ve never disappointed you. I always be a good son. Follow all your advices, and always study so hard until I feel my head want to explode. And that’s all I do so that I can make you proud of me and become a son that you always expect. Become a heir of Jung Corp. My life was meaningless back then. I don’t have a purpose, I don’t know what I will do if I don’t follow you. But now, they’re all changed. It’s got nothing to do whether he is a man or woman. I love him and I don’t care what other people say,” I firmly said. I must told my parents about my feelings and I have to be strong. I didn’t care if they didn’t accept him. I still love him anyway and they couldn’t change that.


My mom cried harder. My dad hit the table make a loud thump sound.


“He’s an orphan!! And-and he’s a boy, for God’s sake!!!” my dad exploded. His face was red signing that he was mad. Really mad.


“I’ve told you I don’t fucking care. I love him, dad,” I lightened at the word LOVE, hoped he could un derstand. But suddenly...




My dad slapped me right on my left cheeks. His breath was so heavy and my cheeks were burnt. I could feel Jaejoongie’s body jerked when my father gave his ‘touch’ to me. Everyone kept still and looked at me. But only Jaejoongie in my eyes. He was crying silently to see me. He wanted to touch my cheeks but I stopped his hand as I told him that I’m  gonna be okay.


I stared straight into my father’s eyes. Now, I didn’t care what he would do to me now.


“Do you still love him even if I say that I never consider you as my son anymore?” my mom stopped crying and Jaejoongie looked unbelievingly at my father’s eyes before looked at me.


“Yes,” I firmly said. My father groaned in frustrated.


“GO!! Go away now! Never step your feet in this home again! And don’t bother to call me father, you’re not my son anymore!!” he shouted. He then threw his body to the couch. My mom hugged him, crying.


“Mr. Lee, give this person his things. He’s not belong in here anymore,” my not-anymore-dad glared at me. His eyes were red because of anger. I could feel Jaejoongie’s body trembled behind me. I knew he was crying.


“Yunnie, don’t do this,” he whispered from behind. “You can’t do this. They’re your family...” he sobbed. Oh Jaejoongie, I knew you’re scared but I’m not going to give up. Finally, all of my things, my clothes, my laptop, and many more were packed. Mr. Lee put them in front of me, he gave me a pity look. I knew he loved me just like his grandson.


“Now go away!” my father pointed to the door. I hold Jaejoongie’s hands and walked towards the door when suddenly my mom and my brother ran to me.






My mom hugged me and crying and so my brother.


“Take care, sweetheart,” she caressed my hair.


“I’m sorry I couldn’t help you, hyung,” Changmin said to me. I didn’t answer them instead, I gave them a smile to reassure them that I’m gonna be alright. I’m a big boy now.


I decided to leave all of my cars in that house, not wanting to bring one of them. My red lamborghini, my white mustang, my dark blue porsche, my mini cooper and my lotus. I was so not to bring any of them because they’re all bought by my father’s money.


Jaejoongie still kept silent even after we’re outside the house. I thought that he felt guilty. He thought that he was the reason I kicked out from my home.


“Jaejoongie, don’t need to feel guilty,” I said. We were walking no where. “None of these is your fault. So, stop to ignore me,”


“But Yunnie, I was the one that make you like this. You have nothing now. And I couldn’t stop myself from feeling guilty,” he whipered and sobbed again.


“Jaejoongie, stop crying. I hate to see you like that, okay?” I wiped the tears that running down to his cheeks with my thumb. He nodded slowly. “And I have you, Jaejoongie. That’s the more important,”


“Where will we go now, Yunnie?” he asked me. I tapped my fingers on my chin as I think. “We can go to Junsu’s house,” he suggested. I shook my head.


“No, Jaejoongie. We’ll be a burden. I guess we should go to Yoochun’s house. His parents are in France now. Let’s go,” I dragged him and we took a cab to Yoochun’s house.


After a week we lived in Yoochun’s house, finally I got an apartement for me and Jaejoongie. Although it’s a rather small but to see the happiness in Jaejoongie’s when he saw it, I guess it would do.


“Thanks, Yunnie,” he sneaked his arms around my neck and tiptoed to kiss me.

A/N: Happy mother's day, everyone! and happy mother's day for you too, Jae-eomma..

  • 1
Oh, no! I barely could hold the tears! Really touching!
YunJae! That is real love!

I´ll be waiting the next chapter... See ya!

bb please update soon!
i've been waiting a while T_T


  • 1